The First Grand Dirge
Our next speech in class has to be a elegy for someone who is still living. Our teacher gave an example speech. It was about her closest high school friend that she had lost touch with. As the teacher went on farther and farther into the speech she began to cry. In the elegy she said her friend had committed suicide 2 days before. By the time the our teacher was done she was in tears. We all know she’s an acting coach and figured she was just actin. Later I found out that the whole story was true and she had only found out the day before.
The topic of death has been going through my mind a lot recently, which brings me to the topic of my mother. In september she became very ill. In october she was diagnosed with a fatal liver disease. They give up to 5 years to live. Of all the things my mom wanted (which there were many) her biggest thing was to have grandchildren. Seeing as I’m still single and not doing too well in that field, plus me just starting college, the chances of this happening are very slim. I always felt that I was never enough for my mother, no matter what I did things never were enough. I was hoping that I could at least do his one thing. But now I know it can’t happen. The last, and biggest, thing my mom wanted in life will never be achieved. I have no idea how to take it. I’m horribly sad, not just because of this but because I’m loosing my mom. But also, I have no idea what to do. I wish I could at least find someone to give my mom hope. It also doesn’t help that I live 1000 miles away from her. In these last few years, the years I need to spend with her, I’ll be far away in college. I just wish things would start looking up soon.
